Sunday, November 29, 2015


Oh George, the best looking coolest Beatle, you left us too young and too fast, passing away on this day 14 years ago, at the young age of 58. Everyone knows that All Things Must Pass really is the best of all the former Beatles’ solo albums. It came out 45 years ago and today it is just as relevant and timeless. Art Garfunkle claims that you said that His Paul was just like your Paul, but you were set free and rose to the occasion and soared. 

My three favorite George stories are that:

At the concert for Bangladesh Bob Dylan arrived at the Garden and said that he did not want to play, that it was “not his scene”. And George, annoyed, talks him into playing by saying that it was not his scene either, but that he was playing for the cause. I believe he tells the story in the amazing film of the concert.

When Phil Spector told him that My Sweet Lord was the biggest hit and first single for the album, George had reservations. He was nervous about the subject matter and exposing himself in such vulnerable way, making such a personal song about spiritual devotion into the first single, which would put all of the focus on that song. He was afraid of judgment from what I understand. But Phil said it was the hit and George accepted his decision and let go of the worry. Excuse my paraphrasing of the course of events but this is mind blowing to me, that he was nervous about being vulberable but he took a chance. That is the point of life, what we all might strive to do, to show our true self, even when it might not be the popular thing to do. Brilliant.The song went on to be the first number one hit for any ex-Beatle’s and was George’s biggest hit ever.

When George passed away his wife said that his body emitted a white light that could light up a room.

i am inspired.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

41: 5 kooky money experiences

They say that the having is in the asking. By asking, you have already received it. I struggled for years with understanding and allowing that. it was a hard road to allowing and receiving, but my tables eventually turned from scarcity to abundance. This is what was going on along the way:

1. One time I got new glasses and they were terrible, they gave me the wrong frames, which were way too big, even though I had ordered a smaller one, and the lenses made me dizzy. I was in my early 20’s and had no idea how to stand up for myself. I paid for the glasses and left the store mad, but unable to take care of my self. On the walk to the subway I found $80 in the street, 4 twenties, which almost exactly made up for the price.

2. Once I was really struggling for cash and I read this great horoscope by Rob Brenzsey. If you have read his work you will understand, he wrote that week about creating prosperity and likened it to sexual energy and he instructed the readers to keep $20 in their underwear, so I did. I was working as a doorperson at a club that night and at the end of the night I used the bathroom and realized that the $20 had fallen out of my underwear, assumably during an earlier bathroom trip. I looked on the filthy bathroom floor but my $20 was long gone. The hideousness brought me to hysterical laughter. The $20 did not make much difference in my life, i did not go hungry  or suffer on any way. I still excitedly read his horoscopes after that.

3. Once as teenage me and my boyfriend drove to go see AC/DC at some arena in another state I think. We did not have tickets and the show was sold out, but I just kept saying I will find a ticket on the floor. We got to the arena and walked around the parking lot looking for affordable tickets to buy, and then I looked down and found a ticket on the floor, just one. My boyfriend bought another and we went in.

4. I already have told the story of finding a $100 bill in the street, during a broke period and the story of winning $100 for “shoe realness” dressed as Jody Foster in Taxi Drive at a Shoe Ball, which I went to with the intent of winning the money, because I was broke, but they are so great that they bare repeating. Later, I won $5000 at a charity drawing, where I had made a donation. I was broke at the time and I used it to buy my first car.

5. One time my cab driver boyfriend was helping me move and I had all thee precariously packed bags in his cab. I had mentioned how I cannot stand drivers who brake hard and how that gives me motion sickness. He thought it was funny to brake hard and say “like this?” It was not funny and all my stuff jerked forward and fell over and I got motion sickness. Later that night I was unpacking my stuff and I realized that I was missing an envelope that had been on top of one of the bags that had $400 cash in it. I called him at the garage but he had already left and dropped off his cab for cleaning. I chalked it up as gone. easy come easy go. When he got home I told him the story and he rode his bike back to the depot and talked to the guys who cleaned the cab and they gave him back the cash, which they had already pocketed as a windfall for the night. Easy come easy go.

Money is funny. It comes and goes and flows and flows. Allow it to follow you all over the place and multiply. I write on every check and try to remember to say it at every cash transaction GBMTMQ, “god bless and multiply this money quickly” then I write or say THANKS.

Friday, November 27, 2015

42: Harvey Milk

Today is the anniversary of the death of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay person to be elected to public office in the state of California. I was still in grammar school when it happened. I did not know anything about him yet. In 1984 I remember seeing the documentary about him, The Times of Harvey Milk, in my boyfriend’s mother’s room and how much I was struck by the story and how I cried. 

Tragedies continue, too many to count, and we continue on the best we can. I love life and am thankful for all of the strong shining heros I am so lucky to be touched by. Love and respect to everyone fighting the good fight. I believe in the good in people and in the progress of positive change that moves us forward like a wave, although slowly at times. There is a saying I refer to often, that the first one through the wall always get bloodied. Leading and changing the world takes so much strength and courage. It is a dangerous job and yet amazing people continue rise to the occasion again and again. The progress of equality for all cannot be stopped by fear and evil. Love always wins. I seem to be typing that phrase all the time. Rest in Peace, brave soul. I am so sorry and thank you, thank you, thank you.

How amazing is it when people do what they are called to do. We can all be of service.

 "I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And You... And You... And You... Gotta give em hope. Thank You very much." Harvey Milk

Thursday, November 26, 2015

43: pick relationships over stuff

they say to pick relationship over other choices as opposed to “I can’t see my grandkid because I gotta get  my oil changed” so I write fast on the nights when I my family is around so I can be with them. Less interesting or profound blog, more interesting and profound life.

Today was such a nice sweet gift of warm friends and lovely company and good food. I got catatonic from the past few weeks of activity and from the food and the desert. It is hard to focus. But I will say that I have so much to be grateful for and I really love that there is a national holiday for giving thanks.

I miss the thanksgivings I grew up on in new york with my family, I miss my mother’s cooking and all of the people who are no longer with us, my father, Nanny, aunt Vera, aunt Carol, cousin Tommy. I also miss the people who are still around, but I am not seeing today. And I miss the thanksgivings we used to have in DC with my inlaws and my husband’s aunts. And I miss that Loc is not with us anymore.

Luckily, my father in law got to spend the day with us which was great. And I am lucky to have had so much good to miss.

Man, life s precious. I have said it many times but it bares repeating: appreciate the people in your life and let them know you love them, because they can be gone in a blink of an eye. Thank you to all the beautiful people in my life, I love you all.
Oh man remember when the Limelight used to have legends Sundays ( I think it was Sundays, yes?) You could go for free to see classics like Bo Diddley, Eartha Kitt, and these guys

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

44: thank you

Ah, the eve of thanksgiving what can I say, I am the luckiest person. I have it all and I really appreciate it. I used to be the unluckiest person and I had nothing, so I know both worlds. 

When I lived in scarcity, nothing was enough, i could find $100, but it wasn't enough, it didn't pay all the debt, it didn't fix the hole. I could have a nice conversation but it didn't fix anything so it wasn't enough. I could get an unexpected $1000 check, not enough. Everything was hard. The more i said things were hard, the harder they became, the more i said it wasn't enough, the more needy i felt. One day i understood that i could receive $1,000,000 and it would not be enough. That is when it clicked for me.

The thing that made the difference was gratitude. Gratitude for everything I had was an attitude adjustment. Sounds simple, but really it was a conscious changing of patterns engraved deep into my brain. It was hard work to learn what I had never been taught and put it into practice. So i did the hard work. i watched my thoughts and changed them when necessary.

Once i started practicing living life with gratitude, everything that happened seemed to have a positive spin, every tragedy included a gift that I truly saw and appreciated. When i was in labor, miscarriaging and throwing up from the pain and losing the life inside of me, i said thank you, and i meant it. Thank you that i got to be pregnant, thank you that i got to experience labor, thank you that i had  safe loving partner to help me through, thank you for whatever is coming next, whatever the path is going to be. thank you for so many reasons. i just stayed in that place.

The cool part was that the more I appreciated what I had, the more I got. I am so filthy rich in my experience. My life is loaded with blessings. I am content. I have so much it is shocking. (so do you, if you want). And not a day goes by that I do not have conscious appreciation of that, and gratitude. I am living the dream. thank you dear friends for being n my life. Thank you readers. Thank you universe for having me here, allowing me the honor of being of service and touching live, and giving me this experience. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

45: Fashion check in, hot pants 71, 90, 2000, 2015, eternal

Yesterday while browsing shoes I spotted a pair of heels covered in red, blue, and green glitter fabric, color block style. They reminded me of a cheap but extraordinary pair of red, green and blue hot pants made of the exact same coarse stretchy glitter fabric, in the exact same colors, also in a color block style that I used to wear.  My sister had given them to me 25 or so years ago. I particularly remember that I wore them on stage with bare feet and a tee shirt when my band Fur got back together for a couple of shows around 2000 and played Don Hills. I still remember the label inside them, which said Soda Pop.

Out of the blue tonight I heard my daughter repeating the word wow, over and over, in my bedroom, so of course I had to go check on her.  Shockingly, she stood there wide eyed holding those very same glitter hot pants, which  had been stuffed in the back of my underwear draw for a couple of decades along with a few other prized possessions. I have no idea how they made their way into her hands. She put them on insisting they fit, but they didn't really. I love them too much to let her trash them just yet, so I said I had something better for her.

Shockingly again, I was able to pull out a pair of soft stretchy silver glitter hot pants, of the same approximate vintage. I had bought them at Patricia Field's back in the day. I think they were intended for a man, or at least displayed on a male mannequin at the time. They are so tiny. They fit a kindergartener. Intended for ultra skimpy go go, like a low cut boyshort underwear, it is hard to believe that they used to fit me and that they used to look good on me, and that I wore them as clothes on occasion, but alas it is true.

Los Angeles is having a cold spell so I had my daughter put on a pair of grey knit leggings under the silver glitter shorts, which she insisted on wearing and which were appropriate on her. The shorts fit her like regular kids' shorts and betrayed nothing about their history. Only I knew. Still, she looked quite stylish rocking the House of Field. 

What goes around comes around. Enjoy your treasures. We all have a few somewhere.

Monday, November 23, 2015


why do I relate to so many kinks songs as a mom with young kids?

“I’m so tired, tired of waiting, tired of waiting for you” when you have a 2 year old who wants to do everything by themselves and takes forever. Also the wait for the baby to come is quite hard, “ but you keepa me waiting…”

“ I want to be with you all of the time, all day and all of the night, the only time i feel alright is by your side!” there is that period where you never get a second to yourself, where all they want is to hang on you, be held by you, come n the bed with you, which is sweet but exhausting. And sometimes the tables are turned and you want to be with them all of the time, just because.

“Girl, you really got me now, you got me so I don’t know what I’m doing, oh yeah,You really got me now, you got me so I can’t sleep at night, you really got me.” those young years where your brain does not work and get NO sleep.

“where have all the good times gone”  the going out social life is over, replaced my domestic life, which is great but a big change.

I am not complaining, just saying…..

Lastly my little one has a four letter name with a couple of letters that are the same as LOLA, which makes it fun to sing, substituting her name, which works perfectly. L – O – L – A!

“set me free little girl. All I want you to do is set me free little girl”

listen to music, it is amazing. appreciate what you got, where you are at now, be here now, my friends because things change so fast.