Thursday, November 15, 2012

I was not born to live to die

I love the whole world

I could tell you stories no honest man would believe. I have my reasons to bitch and be bitter, hate and act violently. Great reasons that I won’t bore you with. But despite my obligations, my burdens, and my past, I feel really great. I am in love with the world and I wish you all so much good and greatness.

I wish everyone to feel free and happy. To like themselves and have comfort and joy, to be great at what they do and to get everything they want. To love and be loved. To prosper and manifest their worth and dreams. To belong and feel safe. To have fun and laugh. To feel good in their bodies and with their bodies.

This is what I love right now.

My yoga class. All you good looking open minded try-ers, practicing open-minded flexibility of body and spiritual knowledge. My teacher, who sweetly elevates us, levitates us.

My friends old and new:
All the moms in the mom group and their beautiful kids, doing this mind bending task of trying to raise and shape a little wild human being. How any of us do it, I have no idea, but it gives me great compassion for my mother. Parents make great sacrifices so that we their children can exist. Even the awful ones have given a great gift. Fuck.

All the people from the early ny hardcore scene. Wow god bless us all. I think I can say that we all must have had some real struggle to have been attracted to that music and found each other. You guys affected the course of my entire life. So few I even talk to anymore but you were my peers, my mirror, my enablers, my friends, my lovers, my family, my high school, my partners in crime, my life line sometimes.

All the people who have been supportive friends, random strangers sometimes, who took me in or held my hand or let me cry or lent a hand or listened. Who accepted me and had patience and saw past the outsides and touched the insides. I was the huddled mass, tired and poor, homeless and lonesome, and you showed up when you didn’t have to do anything.

All the teachers and healer, leaders and peacemakers. teachers of my daughter, directors who show us the way, point out the direction, have gone before me, did it already so that I can benefit. Lincoln, King leaders who do service for no other reason then that they believe that it is our responsibility to.

My family, ancestors, pioneers who paved the way so that I could be here. You long line of islanders, and every one who has come from them and everyone who had come before and after my husband and our daughter. We are part of each other. It is not black and white where you end and I begin. We are all here.

Everyone. So many.


(I read my very old diary last night and it said that I was jealous of my friend because when she was a little girl she believed in Santa Claus and danced around in joy. I wrote “I never believed in anything.” Poor baby. But now I do and now I get to dance around too.)

the artists and actors, poets and dreamers, directors and writers, Lina Wertmuller, Lena Dunham.

As random as this is I will end with gratitude for all the music. Musicians, DJs, music makers and sharers. Showers and tellers, movers and shakers. Ritchie Valens, Nina Simone, David Bowie, Celia Cruz, Carole King, George Harrison, Leon Russell, James brown, Elton John, Otis Redding, I could type till dawn so let me stop here: Henry Rollins, we share the same initials and when Poly Styrene died he played the entire Xray Spex record on the radio. I love you all.

I am tempted to post “Joy to the World” 3 Dog Night, “Border Song”, Elton John, or “Dancing with Myself” Gen X, and a million more but I will go with this one

If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance..oh oh oh oh

XH


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