I was djing one night and my ex was there with some friends. I think I broke up with him, I don’t even remember, but I still felt competitive. I still had so much to prove.
A bunch of drag queen pals came into the bar with an alpha dog, a tall muscular man with a motorcycle helmet.
“He likes you,” one of them told me.
His motorcycle was parked out front on the sidewalk. The bar was a few steps down from the sidewalk and when you looked up at the big glass window, you got a great view of the bike, the street lamps and the starry sky.
“Let’s go for a ride,” he said.
First of all, I was working. And second of all I was wearing a pink skintight sewed-on pencil skirt and some serious white patent platform shoes. But none of that stopped me. I asked one of my pals to play a few songs for my and, very aware that many people, mainly my ex, were watching us through that big window, I hiked the skirt up as high as I had to so that I could swing a leg over the bike seat and I held onto this stranger.
We drove around the neighborhood and I felt great but I was also aware that I am not a big motorcycle fan as far as the risks go. I was not dressed for even a tiny bang up, since i was pretty much in underwear and high heels. Ce la vie. The guy was good looking though not really my type. I forget his name. Still, I had so much to prove.
After a bit he brought me back and I continued my dj set all filled with confidence and adrenalin.
A few days later I went to his amazing apartment to see what might happen but he just played me a film that he was in that wasn’t very interesting and he talked about himself a lot. He had beautiful art on the walls and the ceilings were sky high. I was pretty bored but I stayed for a bit before I could excuse myself.
Things are not always what they seem, yes?
What other people thing about us is none of our business, yes?
It took me a while to learn that.
It took me a while to stop putting up a front.
It was a fun silly ridiculous, time consuming process but what process isn't. Enjoy the ride.