Friday, September 27, 2013

once


Once
Oh my, I was not all that into this one guy who was crazy about me. His puppy dog eyes would light up at the sight of me and he would come right over, come right up to me without any self-consciousness, like a version of some big dumb dog in a looney tunes cartoon, “I like you, I do, I do.”
There was something about the attention that was hard to take in, but I tried. I was used to guys who played it much cooler, kept their cards closer to the chest. None had worked out so good, so maybe sticking with what I was familiar with wasn’t the best idea. I figured I would try something new, try to date this guy who was unselfconsciously letting me know he really really liked me, even if I was unsure about him.
We hung out a bunch and it was a bit uncomfortable being in unfamiliar territory. It is amazing how so much of what we do is just because it feels like something we recognize. Humans are real creatures of habit.
Then one day the guy called to say he had to travel for work for a while. Oh good, I thought. I could use a break from all this uncomfortable attention.
The funny thing is that while he was gone I started to miss his attention and I started to like him more and more as I thought about him. I will never forget the day he came back. I saw him and I unselfconsciously said hi, in that one word showing him so clearly like a big dumb cartoon dog that really really liked him. “HI, I like you, I do, I do.”
You, dear reader can probably see where this is going and even write the end of this story. Yep, in that very instant he changed, I watched the light in his eyes go out. I knew in the instant that I said hi that the affair was over. He was right there in front of me, but he was a million miles away. Ultimately, he liked people who were not that crazy about him, it is what he was familiar with. As soon as I broke the contract he wanted out. Crazy mother f*er. I should talk.  Life dances on….

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