Sleep has always been a rare and valued commodity to me. I was a summer kid, loved summer with a deep joy from the bottom of my heart for many reasons, but primarily because I did not have to get up for school. Fall was so depressing, not so much because of the cool air and the change of light, but for the wretched getting up.
School was ok but the 12 years of getting up for it took a toll that affected my choices for many years. In college, I planned my classes around not having to get up. I took only one morning class in the whole 4 years, a cinema studies class that only happened at 9am. Each week I fell asleep as soon as they turned off the lights to start the projector. I woke groggy and hot as the end credits rolled to Apocalypse Now, Goddard’s 2 or 3 Things I Know About Her, and every other film deemed important to the history of film. That was back in the day before I had a VCR, and before many of those films were even available, so I really had to make up a lot of bs on my tests.
After college I refused to join the ranks and get a day job. Instead. I joyously slept in for decades, making up for lost time. Oh how I loved to stay up late and watch a bad movie on tv. Getting to the bank before 3 was almost impossible, and yes, going to the bank was the only way to cash a precious $20 birthday check. I was so in my element when I was DJing till 4am, throwing parties that went well in to the dawn. I adored going to Wo Hops at 6am, or breakfast at Kiev as the sun rose, with some handsome skinny arm candy, and then staying in bed with the shades drawn for as long as I wanted. Ah La Dolce Vita.
maybe it was because I was born in the afternoon. I don't know why I am how I am, I just know I can't change my basic essence, I don't try. I accept myself as someone who loves to sleep late.
As you may know, my lifestyle has changed over time. Just living in Los Angeles, a different time zone from my New York hometown makes getting up easier. More notably, things had really changed since I became a mom. I happily traded the old ways for the new. I embrace all of the sacrifices of parenthood, with much gratitude for the luxury of getting to have a family. It’s all good, joyous in fact. I accept who I am and work with it to the best of my ability. I get to yoga at 10am, not 7 or 8. My daughter generally sleeps on the late-ish side for a three year old, 7:30 or 8:30, not 5 or 6 like some of my friend's kids. I got it made, I know, but the lack of just being able to sleep to my hearts content is my least favorite part of the deal. Every once in a while we pay a sitter to come over first thing in the morning so we can sleep in. It is fun, but just a band aid. Every blue moon I remind myself that at some point, in a decade or so, I will get enough sleep again, I will get to sleep in again on a regular basis. Till then, I got lunches to make, witch costumes to find, and runny noses to clean. Way to bust to dwell on things once I post this blog.
As usual, I remind myself and anyone who cares to find gratitude where you are at now, appreciate it, because it is all so very temporary. Thank you universe, I love being a mom. Enjoy your sleep, my pals.
oooh! look out you rock and rollers, pretty soon now you're gonna get older...