Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Sometimes I hate the whole wide world.

Sometimes I hate the whole wide world. Hate is a string word, but yes I hate you all, momentarily.

Sometimes I am better than that, bigger, more generous, more compassionate with myself and others, and I am able to love it all. Then I can celebrate it-that same world- dance it, sing it, respect it, salute it, enjoy it, glory-be-to-god-in-the-highest it. I can remember it  and remember myself, be in my power and my joy and my body and my freedom and my truth and my light and my love. I can remember the truth. I can feel everything. I can share  love with others, I can know  and trust and feel and give of myself, be bigger than my parts, even give what I never got. Yum.

Sometimes everything is calm like the sea. I have no hate in my body and I am not flying high on the miracles of right now, the miracle of birth and love and death and life and all the good gifts surrounding us. Sometimes, I am just doing the wash and paying the bill, saying thank you that the money is there, but not tripping out on it, Sometimes I am just washing my hair, or leaving it dirty for another day, Sometimes I am just being a mom and making lunch or horsing around and laughing with my girl, or getting through the day and dying to get my daughter to bed so I can watch tv and rest my bones.

And then sometimes I hate the world and I just let that be ok. I do not take it out on anyone, I do not take it out on my self, I just let that be true. The feelings pass pretty fast, usually.

And then I remember everything that is grand and great and fine and beautiful. And then I can just wash the dishes or be in the hideously overwhelming amazement of  my time on earth. Thank you.

Get it?


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