Saturday, March 8, 2014

REJECTION!!!


This is an embarrassingly funny one. Hopefully tragedy plus time equals comedy
Back in the early 90’s when riot grrrr and grunge and all that stuff were all the rage, my band FUR was in the limelight and we would get all kinds of attention and publicity. We did not have a manager or a publicist, but all kinds of invitations would come in. We were reviewed in AP and we were photographed for and profiled in Interview magazine. Paper Magazine sent Terry Richardson to photograph us; we were his first photo shoot for Paper. We even got called to be in a famous designer’s fashion show. It was a glamorous fun time.
The funny thing about the fashion show was that I had been in cool underground fashion shows before, so it was nothing new to be called by the daughter of a famous designer who invited us down to be “poleroided” for a fashion show. We went.
A week or so later we found out that the show had happened and had included other bands and we had never even been contacted. I was horrified at the rejection and proceeded to call up the famous person’s daughter and angrily demanded to know why we were asked to get out of bed and come down to her office and then not put in  the show.  I had a point but the poor thing did not know what hit her and  stutteringly explained that that was how the business worked, that models came to casting calls and were chosen or not. I explained to her that if she were going to call non-models in their homes that she needed to make it clear that they were being invited to audition. I added that I would never have gotten out of bed for in the first place had I known, which was true, but I added it to make sure to get my rejection of her on record. She apologized and got off the phone real quick.
The truth is that the famous designer's daughter did need to communicate better but also that they didn’t want my brand of cool in their show, they wanted girls in bands who looked like models. I did not like the set up- to not even know I was auditioning, and then to be rejected, for something I did not even want. And I also did not like the rejection. Rejection never feels good, no matter what the details.
It reminded me of this one time I was with this guy after a Greendoor party. We met in the swimming pool when we were having the parties on 1st street (NYC). I had little interest in him, he was just a guy at the party to have some fun with, and he probably knew it. When we parted ways, he   gave me a weird break up speech, saying that he was new in town and did not want a commitment. As if!!!! I was horrified by his assumption and yet I still felt the pinch of his rejection. Alas, to be young...
Things change. What I have learned in this long life of mine that rejection is never never personal and always always for the best. As they say Rejection is God’s protection. Keep your chin up, Holly Ramos. Thank you world.

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