Oh hell, when ever a rich successful famous person dies from the disease (depression, mental illness, addiction, any of the versions of that disease), it resonates so deeply for me. We all have pain, and the external things, the fixes, do not fix it or make it go away. Success, money fame don’t fix it. Drugs alcohol medication does not fix it. Nothing can fill the hole.
If you are lucky, you find a way again and again, every time it revisits you, to deal with the pain, you find the strength to feel it, and get through it, with support, compassion, softness, help. Sometimes just someone on the other end of the phone is enough, if you are lucky enough to remember to pick it up and make the call. Practice remembering, make it a habit.
This week I did this little exercise where I posted 3 positive things a day for 5 days. For me it was a positive thinking exercise, remember what I am grateful for. Tonight’s list was going to be 1. that I have a good body to go through this life in, nice enough looking, nice smelling, all the parts work, amen. 2. That I have a great comfortable organic chemical free mattress. 3. Gratitude for a simple cup of tea.
Somehow, for tonight, that was perfect but I want to add that I am grateful for everything. Everything. Everything in my life, my family, friends, kids, husband, job, brain, time, energy, peace, kindness, struggles, challenges, yoga, meditation, communication, knowledge, spiritual paths, information, luxury, faith, support, love, love love. For whatever reason, for today I have the tools to navigate my trauma, my story, my pain, and for today the struggle is so small, soft, mild. It’s a good day, a good life. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I wish you all great internal peace, the strength to get through your troubles and access to the great joy of life.
Peace to the family and friends of Robin Williams.