Monday, December 29, 2014

how do I let go of hate?

Today I keep thinking of a Muhammad Ali quote. In 1975 he was speaking at Harvard and he was asked for poem and he said “Me, We”. What brilliance and beauty, depth and simplicity.

Some schools of thought believe that we are all one and since we are all connected, everything you do, you do to yourself and to everyone else. Even mainstream Catholicism goes there. Jesus said, “Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.”

I strive to have a heart big enough to handle the spiritual challenges I face. It seems that when you are on a spiritual path, whether you want to be or not, you are presented with ample opportunities to practice simple philosophies in the most difficult situations. Everything is easy on a mountaintop but how do you have compassion for an individual who has caused you personal agony, and is unchanging continuing to act in a way that has hurt you and your family.

I have no idea how to overcome such obstacles except to try and try again, to seek to be compassionate and choose peace again and again, despite the ego that wants to be RIGHT! (That wants EVERYONE to KNOW just how TERRIBLE this individual is! That wants to punish the individual, that wants the individual to CHANGE).

My job is to take care of my family with strong boundaries, which I do, but then to just be honest about what I feel while remaining neutral in my language, staying out of blame drama and engagement and loving myself, while trying to have true compassion for the above described individual. That is what letting go of a resentment looks like, that is what some version of forgiveness looks like. That is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I try to do it. I fail daily but I try again, for me and for my family , but also because if I do not do it, I will meet that individual or some version of them again and again down the  road. Man do I have my work cut out for me. So hard, but I accept the challenge. I appreciate any good vibes of support sent my way.

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