Wednesday, February 11, 2015

the good, the bad, and the

I do not know what to say. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
In case you are just joining me, you should read yesterday’s post first.

So, in one day over $1000 raised. That is ridiculously kind. Just about 2/3 of the way there. The dress cost $1650, discounted from $1800. I am blown away by people’s generous hearts in helping me pull off this crazy event. Thank you to everyone who has chipped in or given loving support. I will contact you all, just give me time.

I had two really annoying things happen today but I do not feel like writing a complaining post. I started anti biotics because I have another cold and the last one never really went away. I am handling way too much stress and responsibility.

What occurred to me is that when my daughter was born, we were taken to court and I am vague about the details because of many reasons, legal and personal, but we won and it all worked out miraculously perfectly. But talk about stress, dear lord! Court lasted over a year and it was so hard to be a new mom and have an unbearable burden hanging over me and my family day, in and day out.

Now my son is in his first year and we have this awards season, which is the polar opposite. It is joyous and amazing, but also stressful. Some days I am at my max. Tonight my husband had to leave again, for a screening and Q and A. The kids miss him and are extra needy. I am sick and trying to get it all done. But alas, such luxury problems. No one is trying to break up our family, no one is in pain. I really want to express pure gratitude for this wild ride I am on, even when it is hard at moments. I am so lucky, so blessed and so very aware of the ebb and flow of life.

Looking back I never thought that awful experience would end. And daily I would feel I could not go on another day. And you know what? It was people who helped me through, friends and strangers who listened to me cry, helped me get dressed for court and helped with the staggering bills. I am so lucky to have a network of kind people in my life. Thank you.

Part of why I write is to tell my story and to be of service in some way, to help others who might gain something from my words. All I know is that terrible things do happen and they do end. And amazing things happen too. And end too. All we have to do is stay alive and feel. Live through it and it will change. The good, the bad, the ugly. All of it, all of our life experiences, is a gift in the end. The bad parts make us strong and give us depth in our compassion. The good parts make us laugh and inspire us. Thanks for reading.

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