Monday, March 30, 2015

compare and despair


I read this post of “42 lessons life taught me”. I read the post because they said it was written by a woman who is now 90 and they posted a photo of fashion icon Iris ApfelI by the post. It looked like iris wrote it and I indeed read it because I wanted to hear what an older woman had to say about life, her image already said a lot, and I loved the way she looked. I have mixed feeling about pop advice and internet shares. I am super cautious with the internet as facts really get thrown around out there.
The 42 tips were standard fare, wise enough, mostly great slogans, nothing new. It is fun to run a list like that as a tiny tune up, so bring us back on course in case we veered a bit. I quote my self on veering “They say that rockets veer fro their course 90% of the time, but they keep correcting. The course is there to guide. Keep coming back to it. We will always veer, but if you have a course to keep coming back to, you will get to your destination.”


Anyway I googled the list because I wanted to write about one of the slogans and I found out that the author is not Iris Apfel and she in not 90. The author is Regina Brett, 56 years old. And a Pulitzer Prize finalist, according to one source. That may be true. I did not feel like doing more research. I am not that interested. The words, as I mentioned were, wise and standard. She seems lovely. You can read her here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beIYTA7MMp8

Anyway, the one slogan I really got something from was “Do not compare yourself to other people, you have no idea what their journey is about” I never hear it said that way. I did not even think that someone else might have a different aim, that their purpose might be different, in which case means that all of their experiences are weighed differently. The same experience can mean entirely different things to 2 different people, so there is no yardstick to measure anything by. You can’t compare apples and oranges, as they used to say in school, and which I did not understand at the time. Got it.

I do not go around comparing my life to anyone else’s anyway, but I am really digging the idea that each of us has our own purpose, unrelated, and we are all here together doing it. For some reason the whole world is illuminated for me by that concept. Everyone who has died too young or has lived in a way that seems tragic, they all had a purpose. Their journey was about something else. It takes away the self despair for some, but for me it takes away grief, sadness for others less fortunate. despair for those who have left me too soon or tragically. It does not take away compassion for the less fortunate but the sadness that may or may not belong. That makes so much sense to me right now. Perfection.

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