My
daughter received a book about Martin Luther King for her birthday last year.
She really took to it and sensed that something powerful lie within. I would
read it to her, but skip many of the words. I was not ready to introduce the
idea to her that people with brown skin, which is how she identifies, were/are
treated less than because of that skin tone. Man, I need to write that again
because writing it makes it so clear-so horrific- some people are treated less
than because of their skin tone!!
I
thought about a quote I had read by a black woman who said that her parents
never spoke about discrimination and she said that she never expected that she could not do
anything she wanted to, and so she did everything that she wanted to. I also
think about hearing David Oyelowo talk about Harry Belafonte in a similar way,
suggesting that because Harry grew up Jamaica from when he was 5-13 years old,
living without racial oppression gave him a different attitude about what he
could have and do.
I
am not sure I want to go on, to write about such a heavy subject because I
write this blog daily in about 15 minutes, a bit off the cuff, because I have a
one year old and a five year old and not much time to research, crystallize,
perfect, etc. This subject deserves more time, but I am going to continue and
put myself out there, which is scary, so forgive me if I am tackling this subject matter
imperfectly.
Anyway,
I want to protect my girl from any concepts that might seep into her brain and
limit her in any way. I want her to know that she is equal equal equal and can
be or do anything. I do not want her to have any sense of limitation or
inequality. I am not raising her colorblind. We talk about skin color and I
expose her to many different cultures and support her heritage. I also want to always tell her the
truth. Talking about skin color and race involves ALL of it, but for now I want
to protect her from the ugly part of the world. I guess I just want to talk to
her about race in a way that empowers her. I am not exactly sure how to do
that. (Just writing this gives me a lot of ideas.)
Anyway,
her preschool talked all about Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman, and Rosa
Parks and she knows the story and the way she tells it is that ”People with
white skin could do anything and people with brown skin could not. I have brown
skin.” She just turned 5. She is still a baby in so many ways. She pronounces
Dr. King’s name as Marthin Lufer King and when she is excited he becomes
MarthinLuferSkin.
So
Dr. King is her hero and I have let her know that he is mine as well. She knows
that Dr. King fought and was arrested and changed the world and died. She
understands that people with skin like hers have suffered because of it. I am
not sure that she knows that they still suffer.
The
other day we were listening to Marvin Gaye. “Got to Give it Up” is a favorite
of hers. She asked me if he is still alive. She asks me that question about
many artists I expose her to because I listen to current and classic artists
and she can tell from the sound or the look that some things are from another
time and the young face on the sleeve may not still be alive, as is the case
with other singers she likes, like Ritchie Valens.
When
I told her that Marvin was not alive any longer she looked at me and visibly upset
she said, “I do not like it that so many people with brown skin die.” She
sensed into something that I was not telling her, that I do not want her to
know, yet that is so current and relevant. I certainly did not mention the
violent nature of Gaye’s premature death. I was not even thinking about it, but
the way she spoke suggested that she knew about so very many things.
We
will get to it all, from Jack Johnson, to the Panthers, Malcolm, and Angela, to
revisiting Dr. King, to my hero Oprah, and everyone in between and after. She
already knows about Obama, who she takes pride in and who she confuses at
moments with the song La Bamaba and calls Obamba. School will be talking about
Cesar Chavez next. Public school will be starting in September. My ability to
protect her from the world gets smaller every day.
On
a separate note, we will also be talking about all the struggles of women as
well, and everyone from Elizabeth
Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony to Gloria and all that follows.
I
have my work cut out for me but I am up for it. I am blessed to have to keep
educating myself in the race conversation so I can present it all to my dear
dear girl.
In
the moment of her being upset about the passing of another brown skinned person
I held her empathetically and let her have her feelings then I said “Let’s
listen to Stevie Wonder, he has brown skin and is alive and amazing.” We danced
around to the first 4 songs on side b of Innervisions on vinyl, turning it off
for dinner when “Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing” ended.
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