Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Holy Mother of God, as my Irish grandmother would say.


My son’s adoption finalized today, Halleluiah!!

What that means is that no one can take him away from us. This is glorious news and I am so grateful.

When you adopt a child it is rare that anyone would want to take the child away, but the road to my daughter’s adoption was very bumpy and challenging and crossing this finish line was like climbing Mount Everest. When we officially finalized her adoption we had 4 pens engraved and used by the judge to sign the court order to commemorate the historic moment, the same way a President uses many pens to sign say the Civil Rights Act, so that everyone involved can have one of the historic pens. The event was that meaningful.

My son’s adoption was much simpler, less dramatic. I was still very anxious to finalize because for one thing, if Tom or I passed away, before the finalization, the adoption would no longer be legal, given that we both adopted the child. I was not expecting anyone to die, but I really really really wanted to finalize and not have to worry about that. Also, just because of the issues with the first adoption, I just really really really wanted to get the finalization over with and let the adoption be official. It took over a year to happen and it happened today and we are thrilled.

The one hitch with everything about his adoption going so smoothly is that I was excited to finalize but did not think about it much in the week leading up to it, and I realized at the last minute that it was a monumental day and needed planning.

Yesterday, I drove home from Palm Springs with the kids and had to go to work and realized that I did not have an outfit for my son to wear to court. Right now he is wearing a lot a worn in hippie jeans and Jimi Hendrix and Bob Marley tee shirts. When I pulled out the more formal boy stuff and put together an outfit he was looking very business casual and it was making my stomach hurt, because it was uncool and ugly. Court is a very serious thing and while I could have just gone with the jeans it did not seem right. I was wearing a dress and heels, my daughter was in a dress and Tom was in a suit. There is a short ceremony involved and I needed to dress my son for it.

I called a local store to see if they had a cute suit for a one year old but they did not. So I raided the drawers and went with a French baby look. I put him in cotton overall shorts and a tee shirt with a little tweed sports coat over it. He looked perfect.

Then I remembered that I did not pick up cupcakes to celebrate and that no place would be open in the morning. I was able to get really beautiful special cookies at the health food store. And lastly we did not have special pens to keep and give away as souvenirs. We really wanted my son to have what his sister had, so my husband got two pens that we can engrave later.

The big moment arrived and we went into the courtroom and in front of a lovely group of family and friends and a judge, we were asked if we understood what adoption meant and if we would love our son as our own biological child and give him everything we would give our biological children. My husband and I both said “I do” with tears in our eyes. It is a very touching moment. Of course he is the same as my biological child, that part is a no brainer, but pledging to love your child in a formal ceremony is like saying your vows and it is so beautiful.  Everyone signed the order with the special pens and then we shared cookies and hugs and our adoption is FINAL! Hell yeah and Hurray!!!! Cause nobody is gonna take my beautiful children away from this mamma bear.

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