Wednesday, April 22, 2015

memories of being 4 or 5

I remember my socks slipping off of my heels and bunching up in my winter boots up near my toes, while my heels got really cold.

I remember elastic around my waist and straps under my chin making me feel nauseated.

I remember the smell of my walkie-talkie and sound of the red Morse code button.

I remember the lavender button on some musical toy we had, like a piano horn or something. I remember loving the color as much as I loved the sound of the word lavender.

I remember playing with my mom and sister and every so often running into the other room and cutting of chunks of my hair because it was fun. I came back to play several times before my mom noticed and got mad. Then I had to get a really short boy haircut. I was a flower girl in my cousin Diane’s wedding and I wore a long white dress and I heard people whisper that I looked like a boy as I walked down the isle. I was not upset, but it seemed like a lot of other people were.

I remember my aunt Carol telling a story about how her dog Pepper was barking on Christmas Eve because Santa was coming in the house. She was telling it to other adults, not to kids to trick them. I held that as proof that Santa was real while all the older kids said he was not.

I remember very specifically the lady with the New Jersey accent saying over the loudspeaker at the lake we used to go to in Fairlawn New Jersey, “The girl in the red bathing suit, move away from where the water comes in.” Part of her job was to keep people away from that specific part of the man made lake.

Oh, I remember many things from Fairlawn, another clear as day memory was my cousin Karen in a gold lame bikini dancing to Age of Aquarius by the juke box as we all tried to learn the dance.

Oh and the time we went into an old screened off picnic table area and we found rotten food with maggots and my cousin Kathy held me up to see the maggots but I could not see them, I did not know what maggots were or what I was looking for. She asked me if I saw them and I said yes.

And how could I forget leaving Fairlawn and driving past Holly’s Chicken in a Basket, with the vertical neon sign that said my name, the only place in the world that said my name, and how the letters would light up one at a time and then all together to spell
and then the chicken in the basket would light up as well. Oh, how I longed to go there, but we never did.

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