I remember my socks slipping off of my heels and
bunching up in my winter boots up near my toes, while my heels got really cold.
I remember elastic around my waist and straps under my
chin making me feel nauseated.
I remember the smell of my walkie-talkie and sound of the red Morse code button.
I remember the lavender button on some musical toy we had, like a piano horn or something. I remember loving the color as much as I loved the sound of the word lavender.
I remember playing with my mom and sister and every so
often running into the other room and cutting of chunks of my hair because it
was fun. I came back to play several times before my mom noticed and got mad.
Then I had to get a really short boy haircut. I was a flower girl in my cousin
Diane’s wedding and I wore a long white dress and I heard people whisper that I
looked like a boy as I walked down the isle. I was not upset, but it seemed
like a lot of other people were.
I remember my aunt Carol telling a story about how her
dog Pepper was barking on Christmas Eve because Santa was coming in the house.
She was telling it to other adults, not to kids to trick them. I held that as
proof that Santa was real while all the older kids said he was not.
I remember very specifically the lady with the New
Jersey accent saying over the loudspeaker at the lake we used to go to in
Fairlawn New Jersey, “The girl in the red bathing suit, move away from where
the water comes in.” Part of her job was to keep people away from that specific
part of the man made lake.
Oh, I remember many things from Fairlawn, another
clear as day memory was my cousin Karen in a gold lame bikini dancing to Age of
Aquarius by the juke box as we all tried to learn the dance.
Oh and the time we went into an old screened off
picnic table area and we found rotten food with maggots and my cousin Kathy
held me up to see the maggots but I could not see them, I did not know what
maggots were or what I was looking for. She asked me if I saw them and I said
And how could I forget leaving Fairlawn and driving
past Holly’s Chicken in a Basket, with the vertical neon sign that said my
name, the only place in the world that said my name, and how the letters would
light up one at a time and then all together to spell
and then the chicken in the basket would light up as
well. Oh, how I longed to go there, but we never did.