Wednesday, May 13, 2015

older guys

At fourteen I was just starting to blossom, just starting to like guys and be ready to get near one. I was starving to be free and know everything about the world. I gravitated towards anyone with more access than me, so I was always around older people, often my sister or my cousin and their friends. I got to stay out late and go places because I was with them. Sometimes I was just around strangers accidentally.

I wound up being around a lot of guys 3-7 years older than my 14 years. Here are some of them (some of the names are fake because I can’t remember them and a few are changed to protect the guilty):

John had a foot fetish and would take off my shoe and hold my foot and compliment it repeatedly. He once put a pair of handcuffs on me but my wrist was so skinny I was able to slip out of them.

Joe loved to pick me up in the air and kissed me when his girlfriend wasn’t looking.

Mike lay on the bed with me and tickled me.

Ricky had me wait in the car while he did illegal deals.

Carl was so cool, took me to see great bands, bought me drinks, and gave me coke once.

Vinny stayed up all night with me talking about Patti Smith.

Lenny invited me to see his band at Max’s, so I went.

A lot of them looked out for me in their limited ways.

I was lucky to have been there then and lucky to be here now.

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