Saturday, June 13, 2015

my thoughts beyond "the talk"

In ten short years my girl may start dating. Wow. I do not want her to have my experiences, yikes, but what do I want for her? hmmmm…

I do not wish for my children to marry as virgins and be with one person their whole life unless they want that.

I have no agenda for their sex lives and relationships other than they are safe and happy and have choices. I want them to have peace and self esteem to go and explore whatever they feel they need to.

if it came down to one word I would pick “choice” as in educated choice, to make her own decisions from a strong secure place. So ho do you give that?

I was thinking about tips to give them as they embark…
Be with someone you care about and trust. Being with someone you love is even better.
Use protection even if you love and trust them
Have fun
Communicate your thoughts feeling needs
Check you motives and do it because you want to, not because you need to, or feel pressure or want something.

Don’t have expectations unless you have talked about things first
Don’t be with people in relationships
Don’t do anything you are unsure of, you can always come back to it later’

They are not bad tips but really they are not doable without a strong sense of self and self esteem. That is what my children need to navigate sex and everything in life for that matter. It is all an inside job. How do I give them that is the question. I am not sure. I am doing my best to love them and support them and be an example and I hope that that is enough. Luckily I have a decade or so to figure this out cause as I write I realize i have no f*ing idea what I am doing....

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