Tuesday, June 2, 2015

silent prayer


I have a blurry but vivid memory of getting in trouble over something as a kid, maybe five or six. I remember my parents were really yelling, maybe they were fighting and I did not know what to do so I sat on the steps of our sunken living room and I prayed silently.

I remember having a really strong spiritual longing as a kid, not a calling to be a nun, but a desire to know god, like in “My Sweet Lord.” My specific experience in 10 years of Catholic school knocked that desire out of me and it was not till over a decade later that I began a spiritual journey again, one with no rules, just awe and wonder like when I was six.

Back to the story, I must have just started catholic school, I am guessing. I really wanted to see Batman, the TV show, it was about to begin and I think as a punishment we were not going to get to see it. I think it was my birthday, but that might be not accurate. Anyway, there was definitely drama and batman and prayer. I did not point my fingers in the air like I was taught to pray, but folded them around my hands to hide the fact that I was praying in view of everyone. But my father looked at me and said, “What are you, praying? You look like you are praying.” No, I lied, I am not praying.
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studio and live...

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