Sunday, July 12, 2015

living the dream

As a teenager I could think of nothing more romantic then the song I Want You Around by those clever Ramones. I first hear it in 8th grade when I saw the film Rock and Roll High School. In the film Riff Randall smokes a joint and imagines Joey Ramone in her bed and then she opens her shower curtain and sees Dee Dee in her shower, playing bass under the falling water, with wet hair and clothes. I could barely stand it!

Later in life I had the great privilege of casually knowing Dee Dee and Joey. And as amazing and talented and cool as they both were, I am so happy that I did not marry either of them (not that they asked or anything), but married my husband instead. Last night at my anniversary party I got to sing that romantic song to my husband, which was one of my favorite parts of the night, second only to having my kids at the ceremony, and seeing how happy and excited my daughter was, glowing in her fancy dress.

To elaborate, Last night I renewed my wedding vows with my husband. It was our ten-year anniversary and we made a very casual decision to renew our vows. I have written about how busy I get with two kids and perhaps I have mentioned that my husband works ridiculous film business hours so it is hard to get time to think about things together, much less talk with him about very much. We were so sloppy in putting together a guest list and so late in getting it out. At first our vision was just a grown up party and then we decided to get a celebrant to do the vows and then we realized that we needed to have our kids there and my in-laws who live locally, who were not invited till 3 days prior. As messy as we were we pulled off an incredibly fun and beautiful event and everything worked out perfect.

The day before the party I had a complete melt down with my daughter and I realized that I was under WAY TOO MUCH stress. My body hurt from stress the day of the party, which made me actually have gratitude that my wedding ten years ago had been cancelled by the venue 2 days prior to the wedding. I appreciated that universe put that ridiculous hurdle in our path so that we could freak out until there was nothing left to freak out about. We got it all out of our systems. By the day of, we had nothing left to loose and we were calm and happy and present. What a weird and thoughtful gift.

For this event, I was pretty stressed out having to co ordinate all of the food and drinks and music and every other detail. I scrapped many details to keep it simple but it was still overwhelming. I am not a picky person. I can be really loose about life, but just getting through a day without my husband around is on the verge of overwhelming with a 5 year old and a one year old. Then add to it throwing a party, and then add to it trying to look nice for the party. It is hard to just get mascara on a good day, so I had my plate full, even with hiring help, because delegating still takes time and energy.

But despite everything leading up to it, the night was perfect. Champaign flowed all night long; the friends who came were perfect, lovely and loving and fun; the kids made it over to the ceremony with the sitter and it was beautiful to have them there; I got to dance to my hearts content with gorgeous friends and even sing a few songs; the food and drink all worked out; and I was able to be present and show up for my husband and renew our commitment while surrounded and supported by family and friends. Can’t think of a thing I would change. Than you thank you thank you. Living the dream, xHolly

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