Our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up and we decided to have a big party and then decided to renew our vows. It is really great and exciting, but I did not think abut it much and now I find myself throwing a wedding, which is great, but intense since it is coming up quick and I am already strapped for time and energy with my two kids. I also underestimated what it means to renew your vows. I thought it was casual and now I see it is the real deal.
I recall saying that the academy awards was like throwing a wedding, and I managed with a ton of help and here I go again, 2nd major event in 6 months. The good news is that I have a dress and shoes, and yes they are my Oscars outfit. So fun to have a reason to dress up and see friends and dance.
Anyway, bear with my posts this week, I am overwhelmed and have no time and will be sharing oldies but goodies, favs by other writers and short notes. And yet I type away tonight. It is hard to stop, but I still have not found our vows!! I have looked everywhere. Where are they??
The beauty is that I am madly in love with my husband and so lucky to get to be in a relationship with someone who wants to do this thing with me. I set myself up for many years to be miserable, for good reason. I dated unavailable guys because I was unavailable, terrified of human being and intimacy, which is just being real and close and honest and trusting with someone. Terrified because I had been really hurt by people as a kid, really betrayed. Great reason, but I have outgrown the result of that, of staying scared and unavailable. I have been visiting some of the old stories lately as a I gaze on how far I have come, intentionally, through hard work, which is so f*ing stunning. If you are struggling, please know you can make it. All transformation is possible.