Man, am I lucky. This is my very intense life this week:
-We found out we have a family member who is suddenly
close to the end of life and that is all I will say out of respect for their
-I have a lump in my breast that has to be checked. I
am not worried because I think it is the same lump they already cleared. There
seems to be an error in the recording of the location, a clerical error. So I
will deal with it. it is not ideal, but even though I am not that worried, it
is always stressful to have to deal with this stuff.
-my girl completed her first week of kinder and man is
that a rite of passage. If you have never done it, just trust me. HEAVY
transition, but we did it.
-my son’s biopsy came back negative this week, which
is great news but it is the kind of news that you still want to sink into a
heap and cry over. I have so much going on that I have not had the luxury of a good
cry, a letting go of all of that undisclosed anxiety.
-and if you have been reading, I left my job of 11
years this week.
I am pretty angry and tired. And I just want to say
that I have amazing friends. Thank you Leanne for listening to me and empathizing
and just validating that I have a lot going on. And for reminding me that it
always goes back down. The stuff rises and falls.
And then Andrea!!!!!! I was dreading going to this
school potluck picnic to meet all the families because I suck at that kind of
stuff and am dead tired. Then my dear kind generous pal bought me food for home and two of those
whole foods chickens so I could show up with a generous contribution without
doing any work! You blow my mind, lady. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Because…
The picnic turned out to be amazing and I may have skipped it without such support. can i just say that kidswe just met this week ran over to me
asking “Where’s Nova?” which makes me feel much less anxious, because despite
my social limitations, my daughter makes friends easy, which is all I care
about. Iseem to make friends
pretty easy too, since I met great families tonight and had a great time,
despite my anxiety about it all.
We are so lucky to have friends. Isolation kills, get out of the house. Pick up the phone ( i know, sometimes the heardest thing we can do is reach out but just do it.). You have more friends than you think. Tell someone what is going on. Ask for help. People want to help. I write this to remind myself.