7th grade I think. He asked me out and I
said yes. I liked him but I was terrified of dating, of commitment, of the
unknown, of kissing for the first time. What exactly was expected of me? What
was I to do? How should I know? What the fuck were all these feelings, liking
someone and then all this other stuff?
He had walked me home, pin straight hair falling into
his eyes. He looked pretty good until I looked down. He had on pointy leather
lace up shoes and he had an umbrella. It had stopped raining and the ground was
a depressing damp. Sorry but that was a deal breaker right there- POINTY shoes
and an umbrella. I had already said I would go out with him, but I knew that I
needed to change my answer. I ran home and could not sleep all night knowing
what I had to do the next day. I could almost die from the anxiety of going out
with someone with those shoes.
The next day in school I broke up with him. Phew, it