Sunday, October 25, 2015

75: My show

So... I talked about some of the feelings that came up around playing. After I said yes, I really wanted to call and change my mind. It would have been acceptable. Everyone would have understood. But I didn’t. I talked about the dread to my husband and he reminded me that I did not have to do it and I reminded him that I just needed to talk about it, I did not need to be pursueded one way or the other.

Then, when I committed internally to doing it, I still counted each day until it was over. I would rehearse my set each day, one run through per day just to stay sharp and then say oh good, only 3 days left. Next day, rehearse it and say, oh good only two days left, etc. That was the best I could do to get through what felt like too much to handle with a family that included a baby.

However!!! After the smoke has cleared and one person has proposed making a band with me, I am actually open to making a band. The cool part was that my goal was to be a role model for my kid and to touch at least one person and alas, more that a handful of peolple have told me that my performance inspired them. I L O V E that. 

I am one quarter through my last 100 days of bring on this side of the mountain of a century. I cannot believe the words I am typing, but I am just going with the flow, I might be in a band now. I think I am in a band now.  More to be revealed!

do the next right action

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