Wednesday, November 25, 2015

44: thank you


Ah, the eve of thanksgiving what can I say, I am the luckiest person. I have it all and I really appreciate it. I used to be the unluckiest person and I had nothing, so I know both worlds. 

When I lived in scarcity, nothing was enough, i could find $100, but it wasn't enough, it didn't pay all the debt, it didn't fix the hole. I could have a nice conversation but it didn't fix anything so it wasn't enough. I could get an unexpected $1000 check, not enough. Everything was hard. The more i said things were hard, the harder they became, the more i said it wasn't enough, the more needy i felt. One day i understood that i could receive $1,000,000 and it would not be enough. That is when it clicked for me.

The thing that made the difference was gratitude. Gratitude for everything I had was an attitude adjustment. Sounds simple, but really it was a conscious changing of patterns engraved deep into my brain. It was hard work to learn what I had never been taught and put it into practice. So i did the hard work. i watched my thoughts and changed them when necessary.

Once i started practicing living life with gratitude, everything that happened seemed to have a positive spin, every tragedy included a gift that I truly saw and appreciated. When i was in labor, miscarriaging and throwing up from the pain and losing the life inside of me, i said thank you, and i meant it. Thank you that i got to be pregnant, thank you that i got to experience labor, thank you that i had  safe loving partner to help me through, thank you for whatever is coming next, whatever the path is going to be. thank you for so many reasons. i just stayed in that place.

The cool part was that the more I appreciated what I had, the more I got. I am so filthy rich in my experience. My life is loaded with blessings. I am content. I have so much it is shocking. (so do you, if you want). And not a day goes by that I do not have conscious appreciation of that, and gratitude. I am living the dream. thank you dear friends for being n my life. Thank you readers. Thank you universe for having me here, allowing me the honor of being of service and touching live, and giving me this experience. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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