Monday, November 9, 2015

Weird gift

about 7 years ago I started doing this Buddhist practice where I would ask to relieve some of the world's suffering by taking on a little extra. I was childless and had time and energy and it felt like a way to be of service in the world, a way to do something, anything, about the bigger terrible things that go on in the world that we can feel so helpless over. Then, at some point the idea was in conflict with an idea I practiced of creating the life you want through having a vision and focusing on positive things. ( i probably have more to say about that at some point). Anyway. I stopped doing the practice of taking on suffering but indeed as life would have it, I was hit with a wall of suffering in a legal battle. I took on suffering to prevent another's suffering. It was devastating and I survived. It worked. Things are  much better now.

As my sister once put it, in regard to an unrelated incident, and I imperfectly quote her "that is what you want, you want to take the hit for your kids, so they don't have to."

Well recently, I read about someone's struggle with a newborn in the nicu and an insurance company fighting them and a 2 million dollar bill and I related so deeply. So again I asked the universe to give me just a tiny share of their suffering, to relieve them a bit.

Now every dreadful thing that happens to me, like my kid throwing up in my bed and whatever other super inconvenience happens, I just say "Thank you. Thank you. No one died. I have the strength to handle this, I am so lucky and blessed. thank you." It has been a weird gift because it gives all of my pain purpose. I hope it helps someone somewhere.

I know. I know. I am just trying to make sense of the great divine mystery of life. It is all good.

Be of service. what else is there?

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