Saturday, December 5, 2015

34: action and peace

I have nothing to write.....broken record...... I am really shook up by the murders going on. 

I am off, I am in mourning, I feel scared, I worry about my children’s futures. I really want them to grow uo and I really want them to grow up with parents. This round is hitting me harder than sept 11th, although at that time my apartment was a few feet from the line of demarcation where armed military stood in a line not letting anyone past if they did not live there. I would have to open my dirty laundry bag to show the men with long guns what I had inside when I would do the wash. But I just had me to worry about and I knew better to buy into the fear based way of life.

Now I find that I am always edging towards the fear based way of life and I have to pull myself back and remember that there is always an impeding disaster if you are looking for one. There is always a reason to lose faith in humanity and live in fear and terror. As a teen I bought into the whole Reagan cold war and the impending nuclear war. There is always something to buy into. This stuff is real and we must take actions. Make call after call and change the gun laws, defeat the nra’s tyranny. BUT I still have to choose to live in peace. Terrible things can happen and do, but I refuse to let that color my life. I have already survived being the victim of incest as a child and growing up without emotional support, a little kid alone with those experiences, gross. I survived going to court and having the fate of my family decided by a judge and it costing me 6 figures. I know what it is to bravely surrender to peace. I know that no matter what happens, I can choose peace. I will be happy when this period passes and things normalize. It always does and they always do. Peace on earth, good will towards all.

keep remembering who you are and what you believe.

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