Tuesday, March 15, 2016

so messed up


Urg, I had this traumatic experience and am reeling in its wake. The are times when everything is so unbelievably difficult to navigate, when something is off inside, the foundation just isn’t there and the whole house is on the verge of collapse.  I am spent, beat up and in need of empathy. Luckily a sweet friend held some space for me today. I saw myself in the mirror today, out in public, and man was I a mess, wearing terrible harsh unflattering colors and unflattering cuts and disheveled hair and an exhausted face. I looked so bad I almost looked cool, born to lose indeed, but in the bad modern ironic way.

It will all be ok, I am going through it, feeling my feeling and struggling on. Sometimes we just can’t keep it together with a nice bow on top. Sometimes, all you can do is show up looking terrible. I still got to part of a yoga class. Then I self soothed and spent too much shopping on line (I can return it). I live for the cookies and (rice) milk that I eat daily once the kids are in bed. Cookies and Milk forever!!!! Las galletas y leche para siempre!!
see you on the other side. xh

the perfect occasion for this classic mind blowing track:

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