Friday, April 1, 2016

past present

Today I saw an old photo of someone very close to me who I knew from childhood who is no longer with us. It blew my mind as I studied his expression and hair and arms and eyes, searching for clues, trying to see who he was, trying to understand everything that happened. Alot happened and it is still a mystery . I got no answers, only more questions. 

Then I saw a video of another man I knew when I was still living at home, not a mentor, but that is almost the right word. It was just as mind blowing to see him in 3D, doing his thing, with my adult eyes. 

I have lived a million lives in this short life of mine and it is just fascinating to re-experience humans. The same way that going back to your grammar school as an adult and seeing how tiny it is in comparison to how it used to look to you while you were there, seeing these men with completely different eyes is like a measurement of how far I have traveled as a person on this earth.

One experience was kind of great and affirming of my good instincts despite my limitations, and the other was dreadfully depressing. 

Alas, life.

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