Sunday, February 26, 2017

here we go...

you guys who know me from the way back know that i was a a feral cub raised by wolves. so what crossed my mind on the lower levels this morning was deep insecurity. i could easily plunge to the depths and drown there. compare and despair ...and all that jazz. the thing is, that swamp in the dark recesses of my mind will forever be there, that is part of the human struggle, or at least my human struggle. like every challenge, i can't magically make it go away. and like every challenge, it being there is not the issue, but how we deal with it. yes? so i changed the channel, so to speak, remembering who i am. holly ramos, btw, perfect as is, steering clear of the edge.

the other thing that went on in my mind is that i picked the wrong nail polish again this year! (ha! note to self, go with traditional dark red). i picked a gold and it came out a tacky yellow. but i pained over my dumb manicure with my big gold glitter and it looks great.

last time around the awards circuit (and the election) we learned that the frontrunner doesn't always take home the prize. never set your expectations according to predictions, don't expect to win, and certainly don't expect to lose. stay open to all possibilities. keep your eyes on the prize with desire and detachment. its anyone's game...a good practice for all of life.

it is an exciting race with with so many great contenders. i love so many of the films and artists nominated in all of the categories this year. it has been a great weekend hanging out with many of the nominees at various events in los angeles, and even some in london, and getting to know a few. we have also had many great conversations with our super cool drivers, about race, humanity, and saturday night fever! the world is full of amazing intelligent, kind, creative people, never forget that.

"Holy the supernatural extra brilliant intelligent
kindness of the soul" Allen Ginsberg

i really wish i could bring so many of you to the parties and the awards with me. we always ask for as many guest as possible to these things and often we re not allowed to bring anyone. Tom's 80 year old dad will be coming to the academy awards today, which is really exciting for him and really special for us. i hope i get to dance this year, as this crowd is not always the dancey-est. but i have a cool partner in crime this year, another woman who will be going and who loves to dance (and of course she is british). I'm still a little nervous about my dress. keep your fingers crossed for me that it looks ok. i'll tell you all about it in the next few days.....

thank you everyone who helped us with childcare, clothes, jewelry, logistics, everything. i and we could not have done it without you... i am carrying you all with me, keeping it real, diverse, working class and a little bit feral. honored to be going, rooting for my man, (having fun since i was 6...) xxxh

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