Saturday, April 15, 2017

My hot unavailable boyfriend

New York is my hot unavailable boyfriend who causes me pain and heartbreak, who is so very gorgeous and fun and really couldn't care less about my human needs; when its fun it's great and when it's not, I pay. We just had a really good run. I ignored a bunch of my needs and just dug it.  Los Angeles, my dear good old friend who is there for me, solid and kind, provides me with ease and warmth, welcomes me with loving arms.
I left my hometown today, my greenwich village apartment with its beautiful view and its fireplace. It is impossible to be here without all of you. What will I do when I wake up tomorrow?

I can't move my body. I just got home. "Home" as in west coast home. I have two homes, east and west. It was impossible to say goodbye to my New York family, my family, the people I grew up with, as much brothers and sisters as my blood sister. I am back in the loving arms of the most wonderful people here, but the ties to my old old self are so very strong. This is glorious and hard.
I am too overwhelmed and wiped out to really write and find the words, but I am experiencing so many big feeling and I am going with it, and it is serious. I know all you dear friends here will kick in and snap me out of it, but the culture shock is so vey real and glittery golden idols can be so alluring.

I spent the morning in Washington square park with my kids and my mother and her significant other chasing giant bubbles while a New Orleans style funeral band played some serious instrumental versions of funk classics. The night before we did two boots pizza and ice cream from the truck in the same special place with amazing friends. That same week I did a photo shoot with super legend Guy Vanvoores. How lovely and lucky. Every minute life was dazzling, beautiful, exhausting, and magic.

On the aero plane today, some random guy was wearing a t shirt with a picture of an ex boyfriend of mine. Oddly, it wasn't a music related thing, just artwork of an ex. Really?

I suspect this blog is hard to follow. I get it. Now I have to hustle and get my kids started in their schools and then I will sleep every day for a month and then I will start my life again. My band, my friends, nature, great food....Talk to you then....
Kind of kidding....

1 comment:

  1. Has a guy ever given you mixed signals?

    One minute he’s crazy about you and the next minute you have no clue if he ever wants to see you again?

    And it’s especially hard when there’s something special between you and you have no idea what went wrong.

    I assure you it’s nothing that you did.

    In fact, he may even care about you a great deal and still not be able to stop himself from acting this way.

    But why does this happen?

    There’s one BIG reason why men do this...

    And I discovered this eye opening video that will shed some light on this bizarre behaviour.

    Insert subject line here and link it to: <=========> Your ex won’t be able to resist?

    It all comes down to a missing “secret ingredient” that not one in a thousand women knows about...

    And it’s the biggest factor that determines whether a man just “likes” you...

    ...or if he sees you as “The One.”

    You see, this “secret ingredient” is so important to a man that no matter how attracted to you he is, or how strong your chemistry is...

    If it’s missing, he’ll never be able to truly give his heart to you...

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    Here’s what I’m talking about: <=========> The difference between “like” and “love” (most women miss this)

    On the other hand, when you know this powerful “secret ingredient”... won’t believe how effortless, passionate and bulletproof your relationship can be.

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    Thanks again.